The Latest Trends for Wedding Goals Beyond the Aisle

You've probably spent hours picking out napkin colors, comparing venues, agonizing over fonts for the invitations. (Seriously, who knew there were that many fonts?)

The wedding industry has sold us this idea that if the day is perfect, the marriage will be too.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always shocked to hear of a celebrity wedding that costs more than a house…and then the marriage doesn’t even survive the first year.

On the flip side, I've also known couples to get hitched at a courthouse and have something unshakeable.

So it got me thinking. How much time do most couples spend planning their life together after the ceremony's over and the last guest goes home? Usually...not nearly enough.

And I'm not judging! I think it's just easy to get swept up in the wedding itself and forget that the wedding is really just the starting line.

The reality is that wedding goals for your long-lasting marriage have almost nothing to do with your aisle decor. Your wedding cake doesn’t keep you together. Your first dance won’t pay the mortgage.

The couples who make it are the ones who planned the perfect partnership.

That's where wedding goals come in. Everything that comes after you head down the aisle together so that you’re both walking into your marriage already aligned and already dreaming in the same direction.

I bet that when most people hear “wedding goals,” they think of staying within their wedding budget and keeping the guest count to a reasonable number. And sure, that's part of it.

But I'm talking about the goals that shape your first year of marriage. The ones that give you direction as a couple when the wedding high fades and real life kicks back in. Monday mornings, the grocery runs, the “what do we want our new life to look like?” conversations.

All you do is shift some of that planning energy toward the marriage, not only the wedding itself.

Does it mean the decor and the details get sidelined? Of course not! Hey, I love wedding styling ideas. It just means the most meaningful wedding goals are the ones that follow you home.

Here's something that may (or may not) surprise you. When couples take time to see eye-to-eye on shared goals before the wedding, they tend to be less stressed going into the big day. And it makes sense, right?

When you know you're on the same page about what matters most, all those itty-bitty decisions get way easier. You stop sweating the small stuff because you've already nailed down the big stuff.

So what kinds of goals are couples setting? Here are a few that come up again and again…

Yep, this is a big one. Things like paying off a specific debt before the first anniversary, setting up a joint savings account, or creating a honeymoon fund strategy so you're not starting married life stressed about money. No need to be overly complicated here, just get into the specifics and agree on what you come up with together.

Where do you want to go in Year One? Some couples make a travel bucket list together, even if it's weekend road trips or day hikes in a new place every month. The point is having something fun on the calendar that you do as a couple.

Learning something new together is such an underrated thing you can do. Take a cooking class. Start a book you both read at the same time. Learn a language for your honeymoon trip. Pick something that stretches you both a little.

Morning routines you do together. Cooking at home more. A shared fitness goal, like walking together after dinner every night. These small habits compound into something really special over time.

Please note the emphasis on both…together…couple. That means they’re not one person's goals. They're shared goals. That's what makes them different from a regular to-do list.

Alright, now let's get practical. Because setting a shared goal sounds great in theory…but how do you do it without it turning into a weird, pressured conversation? Here’s some steps to follow, like a guide.

I mean really sit down. No phones. No TV in the background. Maybe pour some coffee or open a bottle of something tasty. Whatever you need to lighten the mood.

Nope, not five things. Not a three year plan of activities. Only one. What's the one thing you'd love to experience, accomplish, or start in your first year of marriage?

Perhaps you both said something about travel. Or maybe one of you said “save more” and the other said "stress less about money," I’d say that’s the same goal wearing different clothes. Find the thread that connects what you both want.

This is where most people go vague and lose momentum. “Travel more” isn't a goal. "Take a 5-day trip to Portugal by October” is a goal. “Get healthier” isn't a goal (although it’s a great idea). "Cook dinner at home four nights a week" is a goal. The more specific, the more real it becomes.

Both of you sign it. Yep, I know it sounds a little formal, but there's something powerful about putting pen to paper and both committing. Stick it on the fridge. Tuck it in your wedding planning binder. Wherever you'll see it.

And if you’d rather have a digital option for your coming up with goals, then this might be the perfect fit for you both.

Once you've got that first shared goal down and it feels good (and it will), you might start thinking...ok, what's next?

And that's the beauty of this! One goal opens the door.

A few weeks later, when you've had time to sit with that first goal and maybe even start acting on it, try setting a second one. This time, go bigger!

Some ideas to get you thinking…

This could be a side project, a blog, a small garden, a recipe collection. Something you create as a team that didn't exist before you started.

Host a dinner party on the first Saturday of every month. Go back to the place you got engaged every year. Write each other a letter on your wedding day and open them on your first anniversary.

Where do you want to be in five years? What does your life look like? Doing this might even scare you a bit, but that’s good. You know you’re on the right track because it means you're both reaching for something big.

…are the ones that outlast the wedding day. By that I mean, your gorgeous wedding flowers will eventually wilt. Your dream cake will get eaten (save a slice for me!).

But the goals you set together stay with you. You now have something that lasts long after the last dance.

And if you want a simple, fun way to start setting goals like this with your partner, you might love this 30-Day Dream Wedding Challenge. You and your fiancé can do it together, and it takes just a few minutes a day.

Thanks for reading and may all your wedding dreams come true!